Wednesday, March 02, 2005

 

Jump-start

Okay, so it's harder to get started again than I would have thought.

I looked around last night and noted that I've been trying lots of different things to jump-start my mental health, and somewhere in here I accidentally struck gold. Unfortunately, it's like a psychic flash--you might have one, you might benefit from one, but if you're asked to repeat the process, you might not be able to have another one.

So... somewhere in the middle of late-night online games of Ticket to Ride... and struggling to get a new short story off the ground... and preparing for a nine-day trip to Hong Kong... and trying to reconnect with my wife and son... and slowly but surely contacting friends and family again (I still owe some emails to folks like Debra and Glenn, but I'm getting there)... somewhere amidst this and lots of other little Band-Aids, I am starting to feel better.

Man, does shit back up on you when you go to ground.

So, now I'm cleaning up my own mess that I've let trail along behind me for all this time. I've had a fight with some friends about this depression--that sucked, but I think we're doing a fair job of putting it back together again. I've finally had chances to spend time with Janel again, time that reminded me why I love her, why I've always seen her as such a strong and beautiful woman. I've looked around at the promises I've made that need to be kept and the people who've been waiting for me to get this under control. I've started feeling like I can do stuff again.

I've jump-started.

Thank you for helping me, all of you.

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